


Unfinished stoki mpreg story

by Anonymous



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, stoki fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 13:09:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12935973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/





	Unfinished stoki mpreg story

Steve likes travelling by bus trough the city, unlike most people he knows. He likes the variety of people, of ethnicities, of stories that gather there. He likes hearing them talking, watching them and imagining their lives. The families. The students. The people with badly paid jobs who go from here to there with an unspoken melancholy. There is a couple of young girls talking loudly in Spanish behind him, they laugh and keep saying "Oh, dios mío!", probably gossiping. It's nice. 

When all your life is unreachable, seventy years in the past, the lives of other people can be the nicest refuge.

There is a heavily pregnant woman on the sit next to his, her head in the window, sleeping soundly. She is wearing a black hoodie, zipped up to the top and has the hood on, shadowing her face. Steve can barely resist the urge to stroke the belly - he's always loved to do that. Feel the life under his touch. The woman next to her is extremely pale and one of her hands is bandaged, her black clothes torn and old. Steve wonders if she is in trouble, wonders if she has a decent life to offer to her child. Wonders if the father is still with her of if he has anbandoned as so many seem to do this days. Wonders if she's alone, like him - if she has a job, some medical insurance, a nice place to live. If the fact the that she's travelling by bus and the state of her clothes are any indication, she probably doesn't have all that. She's probably struggling, wondering how will she cope when the baby is born. 

He then thinks of Stark, who could pay for thousands of insurances, and thousands of maternity clothes and thousands of baby care products. This world could be so unfair.  
After a while, the woman wakes up and hides further under her clothes. Steve wonders why that might be. Maybe she's scared, maybe she's running from something or someone. Maybe the father of the baby is an aggressive douche and that's what happened to her hand. He tries not to stare too much, not wanting to make her face uncomfortable. Two stops later, the woman motions for him to move so she can get off, and so he does. 

But when she's about to get off she sways, and Steve is there in seconds to hold her, to prevent her from falling. And then he sees her face. No, wait.... his face.  
Loki.

He sould have realised, those were not a woman's features, not a woman. He realises now that there are no breasts. Which is somehow logical, because Loki is a man. But how...?

When Loki opens his eyes, inexplicably not on the floor but still standing, blue eyes are looking at him and the person that goes with the eyes is holding him. Damn. An Avenger. 

"You going to leave or not?" Asks the bus driver. 

Loki frees himself from the grip and gets out of the bus with Steve following, an astonished look on his face. What the hell is Loki doing on earth? And what's with the old clothes, the bandages, the belly? Is it some sort of disguise? If it was, he wouldn't have put being exposed on danger by almost fainting, right? And why would he do that? Could it be that he's really sick? Could it be that he's really pregnant? He is an alien after all... But wasn't he supposed to be in jail, in Thor's world? This is just too confusing. Steve's guard is now up, even if he doesn't seem too dangerous. 

Loki walks, at fast as he can, to his apartment. He cannot be discovered by the Avengers, cannot. They will throw him in jail, maybe experiment on him. Experiment on his child.

Now, he cannot be discovered, not while he is so terribly unable to defend himself. When he is so weak. 

"Wait!" The captain says putting one of his hands in his shoulder. "What are you...?"

Loki interrupts him.

"Please, Captain, let me leave. I mean you no harm."

Steve imagines is probably best if he doesn't engage in a fight in the middle of a street full of people. 

"Where are you going?" He asks. He hasn't forgotten that Loki is a master of illusion. This could be a trick to take advantage of his good-hearted personality. But anyways, he would need to be sure that there's actually no baby to attack him, so it's probably better just to follow him and not do anything else. Steven Rogers is a man with morals.

"I have an apartment. I only mean to go there to rest."

"I'll go with you." If this is not a trick, if it's all real, it means that Loki almost passed out in a bus. He probably needs to lie down.

"Oh, yay." Loki says with so much irony is almost hurting. "Now I'll have an Avenger knowing the place where I live and hide. Well, I cannot do much to stop you, can I?"

He sighs, resigned. He knows the Captain will probably tell the others Avengers. Who knows what Fury will do to him, having him so helpless. Damn him. Damn them all.  
Steve follows the other man through dangerous streets until they get into a block of apartments. Loki's is on the fifth floor and there is no elevator. A small apartment, with some cheap furniture and some books and magazines thrown all over. Loki lies down on the sofa, looking exhausted, and Steve figures it's probably best to try and get some answers before he falls asleep again.

Steve feels awkward. Is not like him to be in front a world-class criminal and not report it. Maybe he should call Stark and the others. Maybe....

"Loki, what are you doing here?" He asks, trying to clear his mind. 

"I live here, Captain. I work, I buy groceries, I pay the rent."

"But you where on jail, on Asgard. What is all this about? Some sort of disguise?"

The Asgardian is silent. He closes his eyes for a moment. 

"You'll have to give me an explanation, Loki. I'm willing to give you a chance given your... uhm... condition, but if I'm not satisfied I'll have no choice but to turn you over to the authorities."

Loki had seen the Captain staring at him. It is quite difficult to hide his peculiar condition being as huge as he is. If he hadn't been dizzy on the bus, if only... The Captain wouldn't have recognised him and he would've continued his life. 

"It is a personal matter."

"I'm not giving you a chance, Loki. You're a criminal, you should be glad I'm willing to listen to you."

The dark haired man sits up on the sofa and looks at the soldier, darkly. 

"And how do I know that after I tell you what happened you won't dismiss it as lies and hand me over to your SHIELD men anyway? How do I know you won't use it to mock me for my weakness and monstrosity?"

"Because I'm better than that, Loki. Give me a reasonable explanation as to why you're here and good reason for me to keep your presence a secret and I will do so."

The man is sincere, Loki knows. Maybe, if he plays his card well, the Captain won't tell his friends that he is on Earth. And there seems to be no other choice. He stands up, goes to the kitchen, and pours himself a glass of water. Steve stands up, too, and places himself in front of the god. 

Loki looks at the man, uncertain, but decides to give it a chance.

"I was in Asgard, imprisoned. After some tricks on my part to escape, Odin changed my cell, chained me to a wall and put some of the most dangerous men in Asgard to guard me. They enjoyed breaking me, in any way they could. They forced me to change in to a woman - but only the down half, to make it more humilliating- to.... to force... themselves on me. Again and again and again. And again. They enjoyed it inmensely. One of them was a sorcerer who could hide what they were doing from our watchman because, as disgraced as I may be I am still an Odinson, and dishonoring a son of Odin would mean death. When they found out I was with child, they realised their crime would be exposed and threw me in this realm claiming that I had escaped."

As much as Steve doesn't want to believe that horror story, Loki appears to be sincere. nd there is actually a child in the middle of it all. The master of mischief knows that Rogers has strong family values and he decides to take advantage of it. Anything to avoid going back there. His life on Midgard isn't perfect (far from it) but he prefers it to the hell that his homeland had been.

"If you turn me to the authorities they will cage me again, maybe send me back to Asgard. Odin would kill my child claiming it's naught but shame for our house, I am sure of it. And your SHIELD.... I honestly don't think they would be exceedingly nice, either. They would consider me a danger, my child a security hazard. And I'm no hazard, Captain, if I do magic Odin will find me...If he hasn't yet it's because the sorcerer hid me from Heimdall, but he can track my magic, and if he does.... If I could just stay here until the child is born, maybe it would pass as human... and... it could live...."

Black spots are dancing in front of Loki's eyes, again. He's been so weak lately. He leaves the glass on the counter and holds on to it.   
Once again, the captain is there to steady him, putting one strong arm behind Loki's waist he prevented him from falling. Loki is quiet now and he winces. 

They are so terribly close. 

In one last desperate move, Loki puts the captain's free hand on his belly. An inmensely confused Steve feels it. Loki winces again and Steve feels something under his hand - the baby is kicking. Steve smiles, despite himself, despite the oddity of the situation and his mind is made up.

There is a baby there, an actual baby, an innocent. And Loki is right - the authorities would probably not give it the nicest treatment, given who his mother is.  
Steve looks at Loki.

Blue into green. Green into blue.

"I won't turn you to the authorities, Loki. But I will stay with you to make sure you're no threat, to make sure you're not up to something, that this is not a trick. At the first sign of murderous intent, of power play, at the first sign that you're dangerous, I report you. Is that clear?"

"Indeed."  
Loki smiles a bit. Maybe it could benice to have the Captain around. Someone to hold him when he fell, someone to talk with. But he is just so exhausted... Steve, always the gentleman, helps him to his bed.

As he watches the trickster sleep, Steve considers what's he gotten into. Loki is curled up to the side, facing him. He's pale, too thin (except for that part where he isn't) but still he is one the most gorgeous men Steve has ever seen.

He tries to shake those thoughts away.

This is not going to be easy.

But it certainly is beautiful.

After a while, Steve dozes off in the chair where he is sitting, watching Loki.   
When he wakes up, the black haired man is still sleeeping, moaning softly in his sleep and Steve decides to take the chance to look around the house, maybe prepare some breakfast. 

There is not a lot of furniture around, the place is certainly minimalistic. There is not one but two small computers (laptops, weren't they called?) and some cds and books.   
In the kitchen, there is very little food. Only some milk, yogurts, fruit a half-eaten salad on a shelf of the fridge and some cereals. Not enough food for an adult, much less one in Loki's condition. After a while he finds some tea, too, and starts making breakfast while humming a song.

Loki is awakened by the sound of the tea-maker and appear in front of the kitchen, disheleved, sleepy, hair completely messed up and a confused expression on his face as he tries to focus the scene before him.

"What are you doing, Captain?"

"Just breakfast. Thought you'd be hungry."

Loki raises an eyebrow. The Captain of America made breakfast for him? Why one earth would he do that?

"I thought you were only here to watch I am not evil."

He's an Avenger. His enemy. The kind of person that call him crazy and psychopath, and terrorist... not the kind of people who would do breakfast and smile on his apartment. Loki had expected some sort of silent, stoic watch (no words), just the soldier watching his every move. 

"Well, I have to eat and so do you." Steve says. He understands the paler man's confusion, but he also want him to know he only meant to help. "Come on, take a seat, there's tea and cereals with milk."

A thought ocurrs to him and Loki's hands go to his belly, instictively. It all makes sense now.

"Are you trying to poison me, Captain? Because I must warn you, it will not be that easy."  
Steve sighs. 

"Loki, I would never do that. If I wanted to get rid of you I would have done so in the honest way, by turning you in to the authorities - not going behind your back. I am not that kind of man, ok? Much less to someone who is pregnant, for the love of god!"

Loki still seems uncertain.

"And get this into that thick skull of yours, Loki, I will do nice things because I am a nice person. And when someone is in trouble, I help. That's who I am. Specially if there's a baby involved."

Of course. The good ol' captain doesn't see him as a person anymore, just a vessel for a poor innocent baby. Nothing he does is actually for him, he's disappeared amidst that huge baby bump. Loki paints a slightly ironic smile and seats, not without difficulty.

"I will have to tell the baby to stay put, then. Maybe that way, I'll get breakfast in bed."

Loki snatches the bowl of cereal the Captain's been eating. No harm on being extra-careful.

The Captain doesn't seem to mind and just eyes him curiously.

"So, how far along are you?" he asks. He looks big enough to give birth any moment and Steve wants to know if he should start getting prepared to assist on an alien birth.

"Counting the days to get rid of me, huh, Captain? Well, I am sorry but I cannot know for sure. Somewhere between six and eight months."Which means the guards spent two months raping him. Steve shudders. "You are welcome to leave if you find being in my company for that long too unbearable."

Steve doesn't love that defensive attitude but he imagines is what comes natural after being treated so badly. And he is his enemy, still. It's normal to be suspicious. They finish breakfast and Loki heads to the shower, a bit unsteadily. As he hears the water runnig, Steve can't help imagining the man naked and pale, closing his eyes under the warm water....

Steve, what the hell is wrong with you? What kind of decent american daydreams about a terrorist alien god?

Trying to dissolve those thoughts Steve cleans the room and calls to get some of his things sent to this apartment, enphasizing the need for the discretion. But the thoughts came back when Loki reappeared form the shower, black hair still wet - he was stunning. No woman, no man, Steve hasn't ever seen something so beautiful. 

"I work with music, I'll have you know." He says, taking Steve out of his reverie.

"You work?"

"Well, how do you think I pay for this place? I remind you that I can't do magic."

He works. Steve is starting to worry that Loki, god of mischief, is a more decent american than he is.

"And what do you do?"

"I'm a freelance computer progammer, I write code, mostly." Steve shoots him a blank look. "On the internet. I make programs from here, from home."

"You build the internet?" Steve asks, amazed. He's figured out a lot of the technology of this time, but the internet is the one thing he can't understand, that keeps surprising him. Loki smiles.

"I don't build the internet, Captain, only bits of it - software and webpages."

"Maybe you can help me figure out my phone!" Steve says, grinning.

"What am I, your tech support guy?"

"Say what, I buy you some groceries and bring them up, clean around a bit, cook - and you tell me more about the internet. Deal?" 

Loki looks at the blond man. He needs a bit more of reassurance. 

"You're a man of your word, aren't you, Captain?"

"I am." And he prides himself on it. 

"Do you promise not to poison me or denounce me as long as you see nothing suspicious?"

"You have my word."

"Then we have a deal."

Loki smiles and somehow makes Steve too happy. So, he goes and buys half the supermarket, because two people are going to be living there (three, if we count the unborn baby) and Loki needs to get strong. Maybe he's getting too carried away with the whole thing, maybe this is all too crazy and he should just be a good soldier and turn Loki in to pay for his crimes. But he can't. He just can't.

When he comes back he asks for some pre-natal vitamins on a pharmacy, too. He can't help blushing when he says they are for his girlfriend. The thought of Loki, fearsome and crazy, as his partner seems insane. But nice, somehow.

As he rings the buzzer of the apartment he wonders if Loki has decided he doesn't want to be tailed and fled. If he's left him taking advantage of his good will and means to leave him banging at the door with the groceries. But he doesn't. He helps him in and shows him where everything goes. Steve asks him about his work, and Loki tells him about the code and how he learnt the profession, reading books about the subject on public libraries and posing as a college student to ask his doubts to professors. It's just a language, he says, and I happen to be good at those.They don't call me Silvertongue for nothing. He likes having someone who listens to him, for a change.   
But then Steve shows him the vitamins and reminds him why the sodier is doing all this, being so nice. He only cares about the child, not about you. Do not fool yourself. And suddenly he feels light-headed again, and the floor is so close and there is darkness. 

"You okay?"

Steve asks and Loki is confused, because the man seems genuinely concerned, and no one is ever worried about him and... He clears his mind and shrugs it off.   
The next days go by in relative and they get to know each other better - which only leads to magnified mixed emotions. Steve likes Loki, much more than he should given his past. But the Asgardian is smart, is snarky, has been through hell and yet is still standing, he was mocked and bullied as a kid, like him, and he is a stranger in this time and age, like him. Steve is getting attached and he knows it.

Loki doesn't want to believe the Captain is being so nice. He's being nice with the baby, he keeps telling himself, not with you. He wishes he was, though. The Captain is kind and attentive and more smart than he had thought. He is thoughtful and he appreciates his job and... But this is not for him. The moment the baby is born he will report him.   
Some days later, Steve and Loki watch the trickster's favourite Midgardian movie, something called Pulp Fiction and it's full of violence and criminals and drugs, and Steve shouldn't, he knows he shouldn't, but he does, because the story is gripping and it's a good movie. A bit like with Loki. He shouldn't like him, but he does and he can't change how he feels. 

Some time later after the movie, Loki falls asleep on the sofa (he sleeps so much ever since he got pregnant) and his head falls on Steve's shoulder. A shiver runs through him as he watches the other man, hears him breathing rythmically. Loki smells like mint and grass and the ocean and he is just so beautiful. The black hair so shiny, cascading down. The pale curve his neck. Steve ignores where all this attraction comes from, but it's there, it's strong and fears he won't be able to hide it much longer. The trickter's head moves and he moans, uncomfortable.

Steve caresses his face and his big belly. He can feel the baby kicking again, it is obviously a strong child.

"Calm down, little one." He whispers. "Your mother needs to rest."

Some time later he falls asleep, too. 

Steve is woken by rapid breathing, movement and Loki speaking under his breath.  
"No...Leave me..."

Steve's sleepy brain soon understands Loki is having a nightmare and shooks him gently.

"Hey, wake up." 

When Loki opens his eyes they are watery and Steve's heart is melting. Loki doesn't want to break down in front of the Captain, but the images of his dream follow him. he remembers everything. All that they did to him.

Steve's arms surround him.

"It's okay" he says, understanding. "They can't hurt you now, not anymore."

Loki cries.

"I'm here now. With you."

Steve takes Loki to his bed and stays on the room, watching him, making sure he doesn't have any more nightmares. He looks back at the week he's spent in the trickster's apartment. There have been moments of tension, moments of silence. But there's also been conversations and a ocasional smile. Loki rarely smiled, but when he did it was perfect... as if his face had been made to smile. Steve knew he had to distance himself. A week of living together didn't make up for all he'd done and if Loki was found... No. He didn't want to think of that. They would continue living peacefully, like the Asgardian had been doing for the last four months. 

The next day there was no mention to the nightmare but Loki was visibly more tired. 

Steve wanted to say something to comfort him, something in the lines of "everything will be all right" but couldn't bring himself to do it. The man was a fugitive, a proscrite, an outlaw and could not practise the very thing that defined him, magic, because of fear for himself and his child. 

Luckily, Loki changed the subject before he started to feel worse about it.

"Tell me about your time, Captain." He says and Steve smiles. People normally want him to adapt to this time instead of interesting themselves on his time. Steve tells Loki about Brooklyn, about Bucky and his failed attempts of joining the army - and the god listens as if it was the most interesting story in the world. It's nice, companionable.  
They talk about the attacks in New York and Stuttgart, about the time they were enemies. Steve can understand better why Loki did what he did, even if it doesn't justify or change his acts. When the Chitauri found him when he was in a very very dark place and they gave him a chance to start over, be someone in a place where people didn't hate him (yet). Steve would have probably acted differently, but he sees Loki under a new light. 

They live, they laugh. They're just there. It's home.

The days go by and Steve knows this is going too far. He waits for Loki to get out of the shower every day in the living room, pretending to be reading something. He doesn't read... he only likes to watch him wet and refreshed, looking so good. His heart beats faster when they are close and he gets strangely warm inside when the pregnant man smiles at him. He's starting to understand - he's falling in love with Loki. This is bad.

Think about someone else, he tells himself, about anyone else. He tries to think Peggy but she is only a distant memory and Loki is with him, here, now. Think about someone form this time, then - the Lady Romanoff, maybe? But she is distant, a work-related acquaintance and Loki is here with him and he's held him in his arm when he swayed, and he's felt his baby under his hand and he can recall his smell and his voice, that voice... Maybe he's not as decent and good as he thought. Maybe this time has made him a bit kinky.

Loki is getting a bit angry. He wants the Captain to be nice to him and not just the baby, to see him beyond that. Yes, yes, crazy. Why would a good honest man spare a second of his time with the likes of him? He would never, if there wasn't someone innocent involved. Wouldn't talk to him, wouldn't help him when he had trouble reaching something or felt a bit faint. No, he doesn't deserve all of that. But yet, he feels hurt. He should be happy the Captain is there helping and forget why he's doing it, but he can't. He likes the soldier, enjoys his company, and wishes it was mutual. He wants the captain to see him, to like him - for who he is. Not for his "condition". Because that means that in a short time there will be no innocent in him to protect, and he will be rejected. Rejected again by somebody who is slowly becoming important. And he can't face that. Not again.  
Steve has been living there for over two weeks and one day Loki is looking at him. It's all a bit too much. The staring. The terrible feeling that he doesn't exist in the captain's eyes because he is just a belly. Loki knows he looks like a bloated monster, he doesn't need those elusive blue eyes reminding him every day.

"So, Captain..."

"Oh, come on, call me Steve. It's been long enough."

"As you wish." Loki may be angry and hurt, but he's nothing if not polite. He continues.

"It's been long enough for you to probably realise than I am not engaging in any criminal activities... How long do you plan to stay here? You probably have a life to go back to, friends, a house, that sort of thing mortals usually have."

Steve doesn't understand. Is he kicking him out?

"You don't want me here?" 

But he's been so nice! He's helped around the house and bought things and not mentioned what happened to him in Asgard or his criminal past too often to avoid him anymore pain....

Loki can't get over how sad the Captain looks, and is confused. He thought he was doing him a favor by releasing him of this burden. Steve is confused, his plans shattered.

"I - I was thinking of staying with you for a bit, help you out, maybe - even after the baby is born..."

The baby. Again. Loki has to interrupt him, maybe he is too hormonal, maybe he is too sensitive but it's been enough.

"Well, I would rather spend that time alone than with someone who sees me only as a human incubator. This child may be the only reason why you are so atenttive with me but I am more than that, more than a full belly. I am a person."

"You think I don't know that? Of course I know you're a person, Loki, I've been living with you! What makes you say that?"

"I've seen you staring at me. Probably counting the days until I whelp and you can take that innocent away from me and cage me again." 

And then Steve blurts out the truth.

"I stare at you because you're so incredibly beautiful and I just can't take my eyes off, okay?"

Steve is blushing. Hard. He looks at the floor as if it were only thing in the world. He can't face the other man. Can't. He is just so terribly embarrassed because he thought Loki hadn't seen him looking and now he realises how wrong he's been, stupid, foolish Steve. But Loki is hurt, because with no explanation he has understood his looks all wrong, and thought he was looking at him to calculate how long did he have to stay there, which was not nice.

"You only say that to make me feel better. Because it's not polite to insult a pregnant person."

Steve's reaction had surprised him, yes, but he still couldn't believe his words. Everybody hates Loki - specially the people he wants to please the most. Specially the people he wants to like him.

Steve gathers strength and looks at the other man. Loki thought he only meant to take the baby and send him to prison. He had to swallow his shame and fix that.

"Look, Loki, I'm sorry about it, about the staring and everything, about not telling you anything... I know you don't believe that people would want to be nice to you, and I guess it's normal, after what you've been through but it's not true. I like you. Maybe I shouldn't, maybe you don't deserve it, maybe it's insane after us being enemies, maybe it's too soon. But I do, I like you. And it's true that I only did all of this for the baby, but only at first, before I got to know you ... Let's face it, now I would probably want to live with you even if there was no baby. It's just my excuse to stay."

It was true, it was all true. He wanted to stay because he wanted to see Loki every day, at morning, at night, hear him sing while he worked on his computer, watch him get out of the shower, discuss politics, hear the sound of his breathing while he slept. It was more than wanting to do the right thing. It was his selfish want to be with Loki. Good work, Steve. You tried to be a regular american and ended up being frozen and then falling in love with a pregnant alien god. Who is a dude. 

Loki looks at him. Could it be posible that the Cap- Steve speaks the truth? That he would stay with him even if there was no child? The soldiers talks again.

"I should have told you sooner, instead of letting you think those awful things. I don't want the baby to be born to hand you over, ok, Loki? I won't do it unless you get crazy-serial-killer on us again. And I meant what I said, Loki, you really are beautiful. And you become more beautiful the more I know you."

Loki hasn't heard such sweet words in his life.

Things change after this. The atmosphere is clearer, warmer. Steve is starting to come to grips with his feelings (he loves Loki - no denying now) and Loki starts to believe that maybe Steve is not there only for the baby, but for him also. Steve feels at home, and it's the home he's always wanted, because there's someone he loves with him.   
And one day, Loki is teaching him how to dance (because he's noticed how terribly stiff Steve is and wants to change that) and his pale hands are on his hips telling him to move with the music and it's simply heaven. And then they are so close and their faces are together and all Steve wants to do is kiss him but he doesn't have the courage because what if he spoils everything? What if Loki doesn't see him that way, what if he rejects him? 

But they are comfortable and happy with each other. It's enough.

One night, Steve wakes up from a nightmare, sweating ad not knowing where he is. Fully awake now, he looks around the house and Loki is not there. Not anywhere. He gets out of the house and finds Loki sitting on the hallway on his pajamas. There's tear stains on his face.

"Nightmare?" Loki nods. "Do you want to tell me what it was about? Sometimes it helps."

Loki has been bottling up his fears for so long... and Steve is just nice. He tells him.

"I dreamed I gave birth to a monster with scales, and ill-formed limbs and... and it was dead. I am scared there is something wrong. That it will not live and that I'm too big and I...."

Steve stops him, puts a protective tanned hand on Loki's shoulder.

"Hey, it was just a dream. The baby is alive, and I'm sure it will be perfect. There's no need to be worried, ok?" Loki looks at him and nods weakly. Steve continues. "I hope it has your eyes."

Then Loki is starting to feel better and Steve puts his head on the god's shoulder, wanting to feel some human contact. He tells Loki about his own nightmare. The ice. Loki reassures him and somehow it's all better. You've got the lord of chaos on your side now, he says, there's nothing to fear. Loki strokes his bloated belly, trying to fight his own fears.

Steve gathers his courage. There is something very important he needs to ask - because he wants to do this the right way.

"So... Loki. You doing anything on Friday? Would you - you like to go out somewhere, I don't know... dinner and a movie, maybe? With me, I mean."

He is so nervous. Just so nervous. Answer, Loki, for the love of all that is holy!

"I would be honoured."

Steve realises with horror that Friday is in two days and that he has no idea of what to do in this date. He wants it to be the best date ever made because he wants Loki to be happy for once (forget about Asgard, about Odin, about his dark past, about his fears for the baby about all the nightmares. He knows he had bad dreams because he has a lot of bad memories and he wants to create some good ones for him. Show him, without a doubt, that he wants to be there for him, too, and not just the baby. Make him see that he loves him. Wants it to be absolutely perfect. So he starts preparing a perfect evening. 

Loki is happy, ridiculously so. It's been a long while since anyone is been as good to him as Steve is. Since anyone had cared for him like the Captain did. And now he wanted to have a dinner with him, go out. Could it be that the Captain meant what he said about finding him beautiful? About wanting to stay with him because he liked him? Even if he looked like a whale? It's seemed to good to be true. Loki sometimes feared he would one day wake up and find himself chained back at his cell, with the guards laughing at him. This seemed a bit too beautiful to be true. 

Friday came and Loki chose his best clothes, which consisted on some black suit pants with a stretchable waistline sawed in and a green loose silk shirt. Steve was stunning, wearing a blue shirt and a dark jacket. 

"These flowers are for you."

He said, when it was seven and they were going out. Every detail counted.

He took Loki to a tiny restaurant on his motorcycle, with Loki strongly holding his waist the whole way. They saw the cities most important sights and the helmets made sure no one would recognise them. And the bike made Loki have to have a strong hold on Steve - was an excuse for a lot contact, a lot of closeness. A piece of intimacy while in the middle of the city.

When they reached the restaurant there was no one there.

"I closed it for us." Steve said. "So there will be no one to bother us or look at you the way they didn't have to. So, today I will be your waiter as well as your date."  
Steve had made the cooks of the restaurant (who has struggling to get client due to the crisis) make a specially thought menu and then leave, giving them some extra money. He'd also set up a musical line wit Loki's favourite songs. He is really pleased, and sings with that angelic voice. 

"Will all be forgiven? Shiola, Shiola, am I strong enough to start again alone? The taste of home is filling up my mouth..."

Everything is going perfectly. 

They take a walk through the busy New York streets next and Steve buys a waffle for Loki and another for himself.

"Do you really want me to get fatter, Captain? Is this some sort of revenge?"

"I only want to have more of you to love, is that such a crime?"

They smile and talk about the city. 

It's amazing how many things they have in common: how they were mocked for not being strong enough as kids, how they've tried to compensate reading, with knowledge, how they've always stood up to bullies, no matter how outnumbered they were, the fact that parents are a sensitvie issue for both, their very unlucky love lives and how they were always shadowed by a brighter presence (Thor, in Loki's case and Bucky in Steve's). There's a band playing jazz in one of the streets and Loki and Steve dance, cuddled together, not caring about what people might think. It's perfect. Steve wishes he culd stay like that forever.

When Loki thinks the date is over, Steve shows him his last surprise and takes him to an alley.

"I know you miss michief and bending the rules and that kind of thing and... well... I wanted to make it up to you. This is the back of a government building and the wall was painted only a couple of days ago....and they're oficially inaugurating it tomorrow. And this..." he goes to the trash can and takes a cardboard box from behind. "is a variety of sprays, to paint a nice big graffiti and ruin it for good."

Loki is touched.

"Rogers, why on the nine realms would you be so nice to me? What you reason could you posibly have?"

"You deserve this, Loki, all of this. And I am doing it for selfish reasons, too. Becuase making you happy makes me proud of myself. I want to chase those nightmares away, Loki. Because living with you has made my life the sweetest dream I could ever imagine."

Together, they paint an enormous "Fight the system" graffiti and also add some dirty little secrets about the politicans that are going to be working there that Loki has found on the internet. Last but not least, the call the Times anonymously to make sure a journalist we'll see and ask about the graffiti tomorrow in the opening. They laugh.

Steve has never felt so alive. 

He holds Loki close again and whispers,

"I will never let you go."

And their faces are so close. 

They kiss and it's a long soft kiss and it feels like heaven.

The perfect ending for the perfect night. 

The next month is bliss. Steve and Loki cuddle in the sofa after watching a movie. Steal kisses in the most unexpected moments. Shower together. Sleep intertwined in the same bed. They watch the sun come up and down together. It may have been only two moths what they've spent together, but Steve can no longer imagine his life without the other man. His voice. His laugh. The way he moves around, like a ballet dancer, so graceful. Loki too is learning to love the man. He reamins always suspicious of his sudden good luck but doesn't think about that much, prefers to let himself go, enjoy the captain's atenttion.

Sometimes they fight, but Steve can't hold his grudges for long.

He finally has a family, the family he always wanted. A beautiful lover who loved him back, smart, strong, beautiful and a baby on the way. He knew it wasn't biologically his but he felt a strong connection to it. 

"I am so grateful to you." He whispers to the belly one night, while Loki is asleep. "If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have gone to help your mother on the bus that first day, wouldn't have given him a chance. Wouldn't have known him, wouldn't have the life I have now."

He can feel the baby moving and smiles thinking that maybe it reacted to his voice.

"Good night now, little one. I can't wait to meet you."

He plants a soft kiss on the big belly and watches Loki, like did that very first night, peaceful, sleeping only in his pyjama bottoms. He's even bigger now and Steve knows it won't be long before they have their child with them. He looks at the man for hours. The pale skin, so soft under his touch. The rythmic rise and fall of his chest. The perfect features of his face.

He's an angel.

Steve realises Loki hasn't had any more nightmares since the started dating and realises he hasn't had any, either. 

"You've made the happiest man in the world, you stupid alien. And I will fix everything. Asgard, SHIELD... I will protect you and this baby no matter what - you've made me happy to be alive again."

Loki is still asleep.

Steve smiles, cuddling back into his Loki's embrace.

Sweet dreams. His life has become a series of sweet dreams.

Steve goes a little crazy the days after, buying all sorts of baby things and getting them in the apartment. Cribs, blankets, little toys and all sorts of tiny clothing. He gets really carried away by it. 

When some days later Fury calls him, he realises that he'd almost forgotten his work. They only need him to give some strategical advices but everybody notices how happy the usually neutral man looks. How he can't help smiling - all the time. They don't give it much importance. 

After the explanations of Loki, Steve can now handle technology like a pro, and spends a lot of time taking pictures and videos of Loki and himself. Maybe because part of him can't believe that this is all true, that it actually exists and it's not part of his imagination. The photos are unrefutable proof that yes, it's all happening. That he is living there, with the god of mischief, and that he is making him one of the happiest men in the real. It's proof that it's real.

Or maybe he takes so many pictures because he somehow fears that it will all end soon. That what is happening can't last long, because good things never last long in his life. And when it's all inevitably over, he wants to be able to remember it. Better than he remembers Peggy and Bucky, he wants to remember every little detail, every little smile. He's even framed a photo of himself behind Loki, with his smiling head peaking behind the Asgardian's shoulder's and his hands on the enormous belly. Their both smiling at the camera, relaxed, happy. A nice memory, trapped forever in paper. 

A week later, Loki starts feeling a bit ill - has a bit of a fever, is throwing up. Steve is very concerned, and suggests sending for a doctor, which Loki refuses. The fewer people that know that he's on earth, the better. 

He feels much better two days later and so, since he isn't needed, that morning Steve goes to a meeting he has with the Avengers. They talk, make a plan to go against a group that seems to be dangerous. Then Stark is arguing with Fury and the meeting becomes eternal. They don't arrive to any agreements and finally, when it's almost six, Steve tells them he's had enough of that nonsense and that he's going home. To call him if they decide something. It's been a long day, and he's tired of their bickering and wants to to go back home. 

Home.

It's been a long time since he's had a place he could call that, a place he wanted to go back to. Since he wanted work to end to go to his place - his family. He smiles as he takes out his keys... it's so nice. So perfect. 

But his smile disappears when he hears a horrifying scream of pain inside the apartment. Concerned, Steve drops everything and runs, until he finds the source of the scream.   
Loki is on the floor, with his back against a wall,drenched in sweat, eyes full of pain and hands clutching his belly. There's a small pool of blood forming under him that had had soaked his pants.

"Steve... it's... it's coming..."

The Captain shakes away the initial shock and goes close to Loki, to comfort him. He knew this was gonna happen and wants to be there for the black-haired man. First, he needs to assess the situation. 

"How long ago did it start?"

"...Noon." Says simply Loki, breathing heavily, trying to concentrate. Steve is here now.He will help his child if he can't. He needs to believe that.

"And how far apart are the contractions?"

"... Don't know....long.... time...."

Steve doesn't like this, not one bit. Loki looks bad, there's a greyish tinge to his pallor and he doesn't think all that blood is normal. He looka extremely tired, sick and devoid of strength. And Steveknows Loki's going to need it - if he's been six hours at it and the contractions are still apart it means he still has a while to go before the child is born.   
Some minutes later Loki's body tensed as the pain of another contraction hits him, hard. He tries not to scream, but it's agony, originating from his belly but spreading to his whole body. Steve feels heartbroken knowing that Loki has been suffering this much for hours, alone, while he was gone. 

He gives Loki a kiss on his too-warm-forehead to reassure him.

"I know it's hard, but think that your child will be with you soon. And I'm with you, too. I'm not leaving."

Loki's whole being was filled with pain, he could hardly think. 

"I am scared, Steve. Something is wrong, I am sure of it."

Steve was starting to think the same, seeing how there's more blood with each contraction, but chooses to ignore it. He needs to be positive. For Loki. For himself. 

"Whatever happens, I'm here to fix it, ok? I'm with you, with this baby, there's no need to be scared."

Steve decids to move Loki to a more comfortable place, so he takes him bridal style and places him on the bed on a stting position, where he's put some towels to absorb the blood. After a couple of contractions those too were soaked red. Steve helps Loki breathe through the pain, as well as he can - for hours. In between, he prepares the room for the baby, putting the things it will need. A bucket of warm water and towels to clean it up, some small blankets, the crib. He holds Loki's hand through another contraction.  
It felt so unfair that some women had their babies nice and easy in a couple of hours while Loki had been at it for eight - and the baby was not yet born.

As the contractions increase in number and intensity Loki wonders how much he can take. He's getting weaker, he knows. He can barely hold back the screams now, even if tries. Black dots dance in front of his when the pain is stronger - he fears he will pass out before the child is delivered. He fears his body will simply give up.

"Steve... if I do not survive..."

"No!" He can't have Loki thinking like that. Can't have him losing hope already....or he will lose it too. "You will make it and the baby will make it too. You're doing it so well, Loki, you're being so strong and brave... You can make it, Loki, you're almost there."

A couple of hours later Loki yells that he needs to push and Steve holds his pale hand as he does so, when the contraction comes, legs spread wide open. Loki's is doing the best he can, knowing that the child is almost there, feeling it. But it's going too slow... he pushes and pushes and nothing seems to happen. There's only more blood. Steve soothes him as his body arches, on the peak of exhaustion. Maybe his nightmares were true. Maybe it's going so slow because the child is already dead. There's tears running down his cheeks as he pushes. He's shaking now, more afraid than he's ever been.

But as the next contraction and he pushes, he can feel something moving.

"I can see the head, Loki! Come on, just a bit more, you're almost done!"

There's an explosion of white-hot pain as he Loki continues, as Steve watches amazed as the little head first comes out, helping the best he can. 

"Just one more time!"

Loki pushes, feeling the life go out of him. 

The shoulders come out and Steve delivers the baby, feeling overwhelmed by emotions. 

It's a perfect tiny baby, white as a sheet. A mop of black hair and perfect little arms and legs. Steve doesn't notice how the umbilical cord breaks on its own and magically disappears or that is covered is some sort of transparent fluid. He just cleans the newborn up with the towels, almost in tears.

"It's a girl, Loki! You've got the most perfect baby girl in the world!"

Loki is happy, still drenched in sweat, feeling incredibly weak, but not exactly liberated. The child is finally there. 

"Let me se-- Aaaaaargh!"

Loki holds his stomach as another wave of pain courses through him even more intensely. Why is this happening? The baby is there, shouldn't all the pain have finished? But there's another contraction, even stronger. 

Steve, worried, covers the little girl in one of the blankets and leaves her in the crib and goes back to Loki. He's almost limp now - face still the picture of agony.

"Loki, honey?"

"You said it would be over..."

But there's something moving inside him, and he feels the need to push again.

Steve feels the belly and suddenly it all makes sense. Why Loki was so big, why there was so much kicking and moving around. It was no just a baby, it was two!

"Loki, it's twins! You've got twins! Do you have to push again?"

Loki nods weakly as the pain consumes his body. His body tells him to push but it's just too much. He can't go through that again. Can't. He won't take it. He will just let the darkness that has been so inviting take over, let his eyes close...

"No, Loki, you need to stay awake! Come on!" Loki is just too tired. 

"I... cannot...You'll have... to... cut the child... out."

"No!" Steve had no idea of how to such a thing! "I will kill the both of you! Loki, look at me, look at me!"   
He had to do something, and fast. Loki was fading, fast. Giving birth to the little girl had taken almost all of his strength. It was normal, seeing as how the poor man had been over ten hours in labor. But something had to be done, or the night could end in tragedy. Steve took the other man's face and looked straight to his eyes. Deep.

"Right now, you are the most important person in the whole universe. To me, to that little precious girl, to this child who needs to be born. Now, I know you're absolutely exhausted and in a world of pain - but you're better than all of it, ok? Stronger." He gives another kiss to the sweaty forehead and continues talking, soft. "You've worked so hard to keep these children, you can't give up now. Just gather that remarkable strength of yours, what few of it is left, to do this one last thing. Give birth to your child."  
Loki is crying... but he knows he has to try, at least. For Steve. For the newborn girl. For this unborn child.

Loki's back arches as the pain of yet another contraction courses through him and he throws his head back. The darkness threatens to take him again but he wills himself awake and pushes.

"Here comes the head! Come on, Loki, you're almost there! Push!"

The baby feels like it's burning him as he gets born, but after two minutes of sheer agony the shoulders and the whole second baby are out and Steve is holding it in his hands. Loki smiles.

Steve is amazed, simply amazed. The baby (maybe because it's alien - who knows) has been born with his eyes open. Beautiful, almond shaped green eyes that are looking at anywhere, everywhere. Steve cleans him while he chants:

"You made it, Loki! You have a boy! You have a girl and a boy and they are perfect!"

But there's no response. 

Loki is laying limp on the blood-soaked towels, eyes closed, unmoving. Unconscious.

Steve leaves the newborn next to his sister and approaches the fallen god. 

"Hey. Hey, wake up. Loki?"

The tears that were threatening finally made their ways through Steve's cheeks. 

"Loki, come on." He gently slaps the face, but there's no reaction.

"Please don't leave. I need you."

And suddenly, Steve realises that through this whole ordeal he hasn't told Loki the most important thing.

"I love you."

 

Bruce Banner had never,in all the years that he’d known him, heard such desperation in Steve Rogers’ voice. He’d been calmly enjoying a movie after dinner when he heard his phone ringing. Caller ID said it was Steve. Odd. Steve never used his phone if he could avoid it and they had seen each other that morning at SHIELD. What he heard on the other side shocked him. Steve seemed to be sobbing in the middle of a break down.

“Bruce....please... you have to come, please, help...”

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“No, he’s... he’s lost so much blood and I can’t wake him up. You have to come, please. I can’t take him to a hospital because he’s not exactly human and what happened to him can’t really happen to humans but...”

“Who? Steve, who is unconscious?”

“No...” And the soldier was now sobbing harder. “You won’t come if I tell you. But he’s so pale - and I can’t... I can’t wake him up. If he dies... I just... I can’t... Please, you gather your medical things and come, I, I will send you the address. Please, Bruce. I’m scared, I’m so scared and I don’t know what to do, how to help.”

“Ok, ok, I’ll go, I’ll bring my doctor gadgets.”

“Thank you, thank you. And please, hurry.”

Steve hadn’t wanted to call Banner because Loki was a fugitvie and Banner could send him to jail or he could get angry and become the Hulk and make a bigger mess. But he didn’t know what else to do. Any other doctor would frown and talk about the imposibilities of a man giving birth, and maybe experiment on him before sending him to jail. But Banner had seen his share of imposible things, the only one that would understand. The one that he would do something if Steve asked. He wasn’t as close to the physicist as Stark, but they knew each other, liked each other, helped each other. 

If Banner called him in a crisis he would go. Just as Banner was doing now.

Loki was still unconscious, having not woken since labor ended. Steve had taken away the blood-stained towels, but the movement hadn’t woken him. He was still breathing, albeit unsteadily, but his heart rate was too low, his pupils weren’t reacting as they should to the light. And he wasn’t waking up. It had been over three hours. This was bad, very bad.

The newborn twins were sleeping peacefully in the crib that Steve had bought. Of course, the crib had been only meant for one baby, but it was spacious enough for both of them to sleep. After the whole birth ordeal and while still trying to dry the tears, Steve had cleaned and dressed the tiny boy and girl. They were amazing - cried very little. They were so beautiful with their soft skin and pale eyes and precious little finger. Steve had never seen a baby with eyes as open as the little boy’s. They seemed to be looking at him. Steve dressed them with some of the clothes he bought and left them resting in the crib - to go back to their mother.

He called Banner. The wait felt eternal. It was very late at night when Bruce arrived to the address he’d been given and it was a bad neighborhood. If he wasn’t who he was he would’ve been scared. But he couldn’t let the other guy come out to play - there was someone that needed him, someone unconscious that needed Bruce Banner.   
Bruce rang the buzzer and Steve opened the door in seconds, disheveled and red-eyed, still with blood stains in his clothes. 

“Come in, please. I’m so glad to see you.”

And Steve guided him through a small and modest apartment. There was still some blood where Loki had been before Steve arrived. Then they got to the bedroom, and there was a man, unconscious on the bed. Someone that looked very familiar. And then Bruce realised it - the black hair, the pale skin... was that Loki?

“He’s different, Bruce” Steve started. “I have been living with him to make sure he wasn’t evil and he’s not, he’s got an honest job and he doesn’t want to conquer us anymore.”

“Why is he here?”

“He’s scaping. They did terrible things to him on Asgard - horrible, unspeakable things. He’s just trying to survive.”

Bruce decided to leave the whys and the deatils of this for when his patient was taken care of.


End file.
